Bukan hal yang mudah ketika dihadapkan oleh dua hal, yang sebenarnya bukanlah pilihan, namun dianggap demikian bagi segelintir orang. Orang yang kurang memahami maksud baik di balik hal yang dianggapnya jahat. Memang benar, bisa dikatakan ini adalah sebuah pengkhianatan. Aku akui ini sebuah pengkhianatan, walaupun entah seperti apa endingnya nanti. Yang jelas, saat dimana seseorang melakukan hal yang semestinya tidak dilakukan, yang menyangkut kesetiaan, ini jelas disebut pengkhianatan.
Pengkhianatan tidak selamanya merupakan pengkhianatan, namun pengkhianat tetaplah pengkhianat. Pengkhianatan ada masanya, namun pengkhianat tetap disandang oleh seorang yang dianggap pengkhianat. Mudahnya, misalnya kamu saat ini berkhianat, melalui proses yang lama, pengkhianatanmu itu berbuah kebahagiaan, tidak hanya bagi kamu, namun juga bagi si korban pengkhianatanmu. Dengan kata lain, kalau memang Tuhan sudah rancang hidupmu seperti demikian, haruskah kita menghancurkannya hanya demi tidak mau dibilang pengkhianat? Demi tidak mau dipojokkan? Demi tidak mau dimusuhi? Demi tidak mau dicaci-maki?
Hei, jangan takut. Kalau memang pengkhianatan yang kamu lakukan bukanlah niat buruk, percayalah, semua penderitaanmu yang kamu alami sekarang ini hanyalah proses. Proses menuju kedewasaan. Dan ketika sudah berhasil mengalahkan masa-masa ini, nanti, akhirnya kamu dan semua yang kamu khianati akan merasakan kebahagiaan. Mereka akan disadarkan bahwa kamu tidak pernah berniat jahat kepada mereka. Mereka akan disadarkan bahwa ini adalah proses menuju kedewasaan.
Sebuah persahabatan yang sejati tidak mungkin jika berjalan tanpa hambatan. Kesetiaan kita diuji oleh Tuhan dengan menggesek satu dengan yang lainnya. Jangan takut. Semua sudah diatur oleh Tuhan. Yakin dan percayalah bahwa Tuhan selalu memberikan yang terbaik untuk kita :)
Terima kasih, kawan-kawan. Air mata yang berguguran ini, hati yang terhujam ini, diri yang terasingkan ini. Aku, proses menuju kedewasaan. Sampai bertemu nanti, saat kita sudah sama-sama dewasa tentunya.
20111023
20111021
Tonight
Dan malam ini, setelah dua bulan lebih, akhirnya benar aku sudah bukanlah yang "benar" di matanya. Terima kasih untuk satu tahun kemarin. Aku memang tidak layak dianggap lagi.
20111009
My 100 Truths
Well, I found this 100 questions on my facebook's notes and I completed it (for this season). Check it out!
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = mineral water
2. last phone call = my father
3. last text message = my boyfriend
4. last song you listened to = Pelangi Kasih - Maria Shandi
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = ya
7. been cheated on = unfortunately yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it = nothing to regret
9. lost someone special = no. I get it now
10. been depressed = yeah
11. been drunk and threw up = nausea on the way, haha!
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. black
13. white
14. brown
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2011)
15. Made a new friend = sure
16. Fallen out of love = yes !
17. Laughed until you cried = ya !
18. Met someone who changed you = slowly yes
19. Found out who your true friends were = hopefully this is so
20. Found out someone was talking about you = like I said before, anyone who was friends with you must be talking about you, trust me
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list = of course! (families, besfriends, boyfriend)
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life = 70%
24. Do you have any pets = fishes haha
25. Do you want to change your name = honestly for my last name :(
26. What did you do for your last birthday = thanksgiving :')
27. What time did you wake up today = 05.30
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = sleeping -__-
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = I don't know
30. Last time you saw your Mother = can't remember
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = LAZINESS -__-
32. What are you listening to right now = Tiada Seperti-Mu - Maria Shandi
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = nope
34. What's getting on your nerveous right now = you know what, haha
35. Most visited webpage = anything goes
37. Nicknames = ichak, patricia, patrick, pepet, cumi, ucil,
38. Relationship Status = in a relationship w/ Willy Leonard
39. Zodiac sign = virgo
40. Male or female? = female
41. Elementary = 3 JHS MKW, 4 JHS MLG
42. High School = 7 SHS MLG
43. College = -
44. Hair colour = black
45. Long or short = long
46. Height = 150 cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = not only someone -__-
49. Piercings = -
50. Tattoos = -
51. Righty or lefty = righty
FIRSTS:
52. First surgery = no
53. First piercing = ears, haha
54. First best friend = sri @JHS, kuncen @SHS
55. First sport you joined = basketball
56. First vacation = nias
58. First pair of trainers = artinya apa ya? :|
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = nope
60. Drinking = nope
61. I'm about to = hungry
62. Listening to = Semua Baik
63. Waiting for = money falling from the sky
YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids? = honestly I don't like a little kids -_-
65. Get Married? = of course
66. Career? = anything blessed by God
WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes = eyes
68. Hugs or kisses = both
69. Shorter or taller = taller
70. Older or Younger = older
71. Romantic or spontaneous = isn't that spontaneous is romantic?
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = nice heart
73. Sensitive or loud = depending on mood
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = never
77. Drank hard liquor = ice cube? everyday! haha
78. Lost glasses/contacts = never
79. Sex on first date = never
80. Broken someone's heart = sometimes
81. Had your own heart broken = certainly
82. Been arrested = never
83. Turned someone down = maybe
84. Cried when someone died = sure
85. Fallen for a friend? = ya !
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = ya !
87. Miracles = ya !
88. Love at first sight = sometimes
89. Heaven = GOD
90. Santa Claus = ya !
91. Kiss on the first date = no
92. Angels = ya !
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf? = nope
95. Did you sing today? = yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = stupidly yes, at the past of course
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = i'll go 2 paris cause everytimes i dream it . haha .
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = last year? may 5 years ago?
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = falling in love
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = it sucks!
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = mineral water
2. last phone call = my father
3. last text message = my boyfriend
4. last song you listened to = Pelangi Kasih - Maria Shandi
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = ya
7. been cheated on = unfortunately yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it = nothing to regret
9. lost someone special = no. I get it now
10. been depressed = yeah
11. been drunk and threw up = nausea on the way, haha!
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. black
13. white
14. brown
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2011)
15. Made a new friend = sure
16. Fallen out of love = yes !
17. Laughed until you cried = ya !
18. Met someone who changed you = slowly yes
19. Found out who your true friends were = hopefully this is so
20. Found out someone was talking about you = like I said before, anyone who was friends with you must be talking about you, trust me
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list = of course! (families, besfriends, boyfriend)
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life = 70%
24. Do you have any pets = fishes haha
25. Do you want to change your name = honestly for my last name :(
26. What did you do for your last birthday = thanksgiving :')
27. What time did you wake up today = 05.30
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = sleeping -__-
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = I don't know
30. Last time you saw your Mother = can't remember
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = LAZINESS -__-
32. What are you listening to right now = Tiada Seperti-Mu - Maria Shandi
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = nope
34. What's getting on your nerveous right now = you know what, haha
35. Most visited webpage = anything goes
37. Nicknames = ichak, patricia, patrick, pepet, cumi, ucil,
38. Relationship Status = in a relationship w/ Willy Leonard
39. Zodiac sign = virgo
40. Male or female? = female
41. Elementary = 3 JHS MKW, 4 JHS MLG
42. High School = 7 SHS MLG
43. College = -
44. Hair colour = black
45. Long or short = long
46. Height = 150 cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = not only someone -__-
49. Piercings = -
50. Tattoos = -
51. Righty or lefty = righty
FIRSTS:
52. First surgery = no
53. First piercing = ears, haha
54. First best friend = sri @JHS, kuncen @SHS
55. First sport you joined = basketball
56. First vacation = nias
58. First pair of trainers = artinya apa ya? :|
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = nope
60. Drinking = nope
61. I'm about to = hungry
62. Listening to = Semua Baik
63. Waiting for = money falling from the sky
YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids? = honestly I don't like a little kids -_-
65. Get Married? = of course
66. Career? = anything blessed by God
WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes = eyes
68. Hugs or kisses = both
69. Shorter or taller = taller
70. Older or Younger = older
71. Romantic or spontaneous = isn't that spontaneous is romantic?
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = nice heart
73. Sensitive or loud = depending on mood
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = never
77. Drank hard liquor = ice cube? everyday! haha
78. Lost glasses/contacts = never
79. Sex on first date = never
80. Broken someone's heart = sometimes
81. Had your own heart broken = certainly
82. Been arrested = never
83. Turned someone down = maybe
84. Cried when someone died = sure
85. Fallen for a friend? = ya !
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = ya !
87. Miracles = ya !
88. Love at first sight = sometimes
89. Heaven = GOD
90. Santa Claus = ya !
91. Kiss on the first date = no
92. Angels = ya !
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf? = nope
95. Did you sing today? = yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = stupidly yes, at the past of course
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = i'll go 2 paris cause everytimes i dream it . haha .
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = last year? may 5 years ago?
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = falling in love
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = it sucks!
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